Cassiopeia

Once upon a time, somebody loved t-he gravity so much.
He was a whisper of blue, colour me intrigued.
He was an ice in the desert; fire in the glaciers.
He was the star that redrew the cosmos in the expanding universe.
He made her look at the stars differently, to the names of constellations.
It was true. Not an exaggerating black nor a pretentious white.
Six-feet deep, I am at the edge of the stellar black hole.
I've seen this raw strength only once before;
untamed power and beyond that, something hidden.
Although stars continued to collide
in the universe that is no longer infinite and immutable.
Even if one day, mankind's descendant will gaze at the night sky
and see a starless carpet of perfect black.
I don't know. I never knew.
Should the gravity collapse,
may the Force will always be with you.

***
WOw, does it sound a bit cheesy, eh? Forgive me, my Lord.
This is nothing. Just a glimpse of thoughts at midnight, I just need to pour it all out.
Oh, and this, too, will be the last post in 2017. Welcome, 2018. Be good to me.

3 months or less // a reflection on year 2017

Date: 14 December 2017, today;
Time: 2:26 a - posted;
Place & Condition: living room, with blankets on and comfy pajama, the weather is quite cold after rains since morning. puffy eyes, dark circles, redness, flaky, and pimples all over the face (lol sorry). oh, and hungry.

-------------

Just a few weeks more before 2018. This year was okay. Fantastic if I may say, the dynamics of being a high schooler to a college student. The first six months of 2017 was filled with the constant chaos of exams: from school mid-term, end-term (whatever you name it), national exam, SNMPTN (though I didn't pass since the very first round kk), SBMPTN, UM/Mandiri/Simak UI, TOPIK, IELTS, and never-ending life lessons. woooww, that escalated quickly. All of this was planned the year before in 2015-2016 to prepare myself for whatever it takes in 2018. For me, 2017 is a year of execution. What I've been planning and prepared for years before were executed this year; to determine whether or not I've tried and prepared seriously for the life that I wanted. 

From July to September I was living a life as a sophomore in one of the public university in my city. The reason why I got into this university was because: this is the only university that accepted me. Period. I've never thought that university life is supposed to be like that, or maybe just there, I don't know. Or maybe just because I never wanted to be there. However, I am grateful that I still got accepted because this is a pre-requirement from my mom before I can actually choose what I want. During those times, I kept fulfilling my duty as a student there by attending courses and doing tasks just like the other, but on the other time, I was still preparing for a scholarship abroad. Yea, finally, I said it after such a long time... I used to only talk about it implicitly. Alhamdulillah things unexpectedly went good, although I still have to wait for some other final announcements.

I still have 3 months or less, before stepping into a totally new world for the next five years or less. The thing that I have always wanted (nor do I still believe that I achieved it) is in my hand now. But, when I think about it now: is it what i really wanted? 

Before deciding to take this path, I have thought over both the benefits and consequences that I will take, the opportunities that will follow and the things that I have to sacrifice in order to do that.  Once I stepped in, there is no way to go back (before such period of time) and I have to deal with whatever that I will face in the following years. Getting this once in a lifetime experience is both a blessing and trial for me. The only reason that keeps me doing and reaching for my dream is my parents. But my parents is also the reason why I don't feel like to go far away from home.

I was being pretty emotional tonight, maybe because it was 2 a.m and I was tired while the thoughts of living far away from home suddenly appeared and haunted me. I will miss the decent and unfunny jokes my family always throws every day. My family is nonsense and our joke is nowhere else to be found except in our tiny home. I will miss how much I hate being told to wash the dishes. I will miss how I always argue with my brother and laughs like a crazy although he is so annoying. I will miss the taste of my mom's home-cooked meals even though it is not as fancy as in the restaurant. I will miss my always-messy-room my dad never stops to talk about. I will miss every single thing that I hate and eventually I will realized how much I have been ungrateful for the things that has been there all the way around.

I still have 3 months or less; 

I decided to quit earlier from the university in my country even though my departure is still on next year and it is not even the end of the semester. I spent 3-4 months there and I was glad, at least, I have some new friends and knowledges. Three months might sound like a long time, but it feels like a short time now. I just want to spend more time with my family and friends before going to the other side of the world. I want to spend more time at home: even though I don't even do anything significant at home, just laying down, or doing something unnecessary. Although later I will not be completely alone, things would get lonely sometimes and I will miss every little things I never noticed here before.

So, is it still what i really wanted? 

Yes. For my parents, family, and my own sake.

"And maybe I, too, shall remember why I started.So when things go wrong or I become uncomfortable, I can still find a way to be grateful and tawakkal* for anything that may happen in the future."

-------

Note:

*Tawakkal: 

(1) Religion; Islamic belief.

(2)Tawakkal is having full faith of Allah that He will take care of you, even when things look impossible.

{ royal pains ♛ }

battles raged, rebels revolted

jewelry crowned on the cold throne

my soul cheers in glory

the diadem of diamonds and bloody red sapphires

should the glass shattered

scattered fragmented pieces cut through the vein;

revealing my blood in black ruby

"i am the queen of the empire!"

[2.34 am // heavy rain and thunder]

v a g u e

                            it took seconds to realize
the scarcity in the distance between

        how you quiver,

                when the mouth dries

   and how you groan,

        when cold hugs you tight

    i barely know,

what is going on

                           for the truth, is yet to find

          and the reality,

seems knocked you down

   for you're a disease,

                             a virus; so devastating

            begging, thirsting, craving

slowly sinking and wasting

                        since the beginning

[1.49 am // quite windy]

November Bersyukur / Grateful November

"Happiness is not about getting what you want all the time. It's about loving what you have and being grateful for it."

Gak kerasa udah dua bulan terakhir sebelum tahun 2018 dan rasanya waktu berjalan cepeeet banget (ya kadang lama juga sih. Hahaha.) It has been more than 5 months after high school graduation and I will be 19 years old soon. Still doing nothing, as always. Banyak hal udah terjadi dari kegagalan-kegagalan, kegalauan(?), fase-fase when you feel like you're on the edge of the world, kebahagian /ea, kesadaran akan banyak hal, penemuan atau pencarian jati diri, dan unexpected things lainnya. Tapi terlepas dari itu semua, I realized a lot of things that Allah is good and He wants the best for us in ways that we can't imagine before. Therefore, never doubt Him, move forward, and let's be grateful :)

So, I read a blog from a famous blogger where she listed and reflected on things she is being grateful for. I was expecting big things but turns out she also wrote about the little things I never expect she would write before. I was thinking why don't I do that too... maybe, somehow, in that way I can reflect upon things that ever happened to me so I can value things, even the smallest ones, more than before. Okay let's just do it.

I am grateful....

1. Allah still gives me the chance to breathe and live another day in this world
2. Allah gives me a pair of eyes to see, a nose to smell, a mouth to eat and taste, ears to listen to voices and nature, hands to write and do a lot of things with it, feet to walk to a lot of places, organs to digest the food I eat until filtering the oxygen I breathe, vessels to pump blood to the lungs or hearts, skin to protect me from UV rays and whatever, ... okay, I may stop otherwise I'll be teaching biology soon.
3. I am healthy although I am underweight for my height ahahha I should exercise /meh
4. Allah gives me a beautiful, loving, and very supportive family to surround with
5. Allah brings me good friends who always support and remind me of the world and the hereafter (may Allah blesses you guys.)
6. I learn the beauty and goodness of Islam which always brings tears in my eyes
7. Prophet Muhammad PBUH (Peace be upon him) as my role model
8. I live in a decent and sufficient lifestyle. My family isn't that rich and I grew up learning that we have to work harder in order to achieve something and I learned to be grateful more for what we have.
9. My parents are practicing Islam now and mom is wearing a hijab :')
10. I have an annoying little brother who is very loud and weird. But thanks for your weird jokes though. You have developed a lot since the last three years, we can talk about deep things now even though you're still annoying and put me in a bad mood sometimes. But hey we never have any serious fights even since we're young.
11. for Tasya Rahman who voluntarily willing to be my side-kick. A true INTJ who always being mocked for her lack of F by an INFJ a.k.a me. Thank you for always being there, literally, every day, from day one to the days when everything is so gloomy or as bright as I am. Thanks for your support and long-@$$ paragraphs.
12. Dinda the best research partner ever! Thank you so much for accompanying me throughout the years, our hard times and suffering in high school. I'll never forget our rough journey. You're not only my research partner but also temen curhat ga karuan dan calon ibu yang pandai memasak yang jago benerin motor juga:( gak ngerti deh:(
13. For Ero, through the up and downs supporting each other. I never met someone who is so Harry Potter and astronomy freaks as you are! Please never give up on your dreams.
14. I met Shecil though our closeness was because of something weird and actually not-so-worth to diurus. But I am grateful we did! Thanks for your "pre-cautions" and reminders. You're one of the strongest girl I've ever known.
15. To have Ninis and Febri who always sharing islamic thoughts and quotes to remind each other for the hereafter.
16. Willa, Shinta, Arum, Rama: the people who surprised me for the first time in my house:') for three years. Always. Thank you. So. Much.
17. I am an INFJ-A who values deep conversations and solitude over anything else.
18. I am interested in languages and have the ability to learn
19. I think I am a pretty good listener? even though agak gak peka
20. I have visited Bali island twice in the recent years
21. I went to Padang, Sumatera Barat with Ero and Dinda although we lose at the competition we entered
22. I traveled abroad for the first time in 2017 (to South Korea)
23. I am single hahahahahha this is so fun you know
24. "it" has ended last year /bye!
25. Our experience in research has brought us to a lot of places, met new friends, and gain new experience (plusss bonus: money and medals! Kkkk)
26. We got the chance to enter Young Researcher Competition (LPB), ISPO (Indonesian Science Project Olympiad) 7th, and OPSI 2016 (Olimpiade Penelitian Siswa Indonesia) during High School.
27. We presented our research project in front of students from Chiba University, Japan
28. I learned about hardships and went through it a lot
29. I got the honor to visit Georgian Embassy and met Mr. Zurab Aleksidze (Georgian Ambassador / Duta Besar Georgia) in 2015
30. I met inspiring research mentors (Mas Zakaria, Mas Rizqi, Mbak Dewi A, Mbak Dewi P, Mas Afif, Mbak Fiesha, Mbak Tika!) who taught me about research, life-lessons, islamic, and social things.
31. I met admirable Islamic mentors (including my research mentors above, Mbak Hesti, Mbak Cho, Mbak Sanya!) they are the bestttt people I've ever met omg :') I still wonder how they manage to say things very beautifully and carefully words by words
32. I met Attack on Titan cast, Watanabe Shu! and spoke (a very bad) Japanese to him
33. I met Chelsea Islan, Afgan and Yura also took selcas with them (+got their signs though it's gone now) even though I wasn't really a fan of them but isn't it kewl. no? okay.
34. I met ZENIUS!!! huhuhu read this post about Zeniussss to know how much I love Zenius
35. I passed SBMPTN even though I really think that I didn't deserve a seat because mannnn I was so lazy and wow although it wasn't a big and famous university or the best, I was grateful after all?! I never expect that I will pass anyway.
36. I discovered Stephen Covey and Anthony Robbins' books earlier!
37. I love books and journaling
38. yeah I love skincare too lol.
39. I have break-outs these days and now I understand how it feels like to have acnes and pimples all over your face. Plus, I have redness, dry, and sensitive issues. I just knew that it could be this stressful and I experienced a low self-esteem... so, never mock your friends with pimples or acne problems. Instead, support and give them skincare advices (if you know any). Well, I am grateful, otherwise, I may have hurt a friend because I never knew how bad it feels like.
40. I discovered famous-inspiring people who will always inspire me: Kak Budi Waluyo, Kak Gamal Albinsaid, Pak B.J Habibie, Wirda Mansur, Yusuf Mansur, Kak Dewi, Kak Ibrahim, and including my favorite book authors aforementioned before and a lottt of people.
41. I passed document screening and interview phase :') Never expect this one too. Maybe I'll write about this one more if things are going as planned. Well, next year. 
42. I learned how to be grateful :)
43. Last but not least... I am grateful for Islam itself. Islam is the biggest and the most beautiful blessing ever happened in my life.

Guys, this is endless...

فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?

The fact that this verse is repeated 31 times in Surah ar-Rahman [#55]… I don’t think that is by accident. It’s without a doubt, one of my favorites ayats [verses] from the Qu’ran. See? Of all the things that I am being grateful for, when I think about it more, I feel like I don't actually deserve all those things. Allah is very good to me, soooo many blessings have bestowed upon me yet I keep on sinning and forgetful. Happiness is not about getting what you want all the time. It's about loving what you have and being grateful for it. We can never count Allah's blessings... Mashallah. 

[PART 3] South Korea Trip: Korea University, Gyeongbokgung Palace, and Myeongdong!!

"...when I was paying for the book that I bought at the bookstore, the cashier was looking at me, smiling, and said "assalamu'alaikum" lol I was pretty shocked so I awkwardly smiled and left without saying anything..."

Hello again! Wow. it has been a month, it's 21st October already. I almost forgot everything that I did in Korea, I am glad that I decided to write it down, otherwise, I would have forgotten everything. Sooo, we took a train back to Seoul at 8 and arrived at 12? It was Sunday, yay. I have an appointment with my friend from Indonesia who currently is pursuing her undergraduate study at Korea University, Nabilla. I met her during ISPO 7th (Indonesian Science Project Olympiad) in Kharisma Bangsa School. We were in the same branch, Technology. Yeah, so that's how we met. We weren't that close, we just knew each other's name and followed each other's instagram but we never contacted that much, or never? Until that time, I was going to Korea and isengly dm-ed her partner, who has a Korean name because she has Korean-blood(?), Kim Yoo Min. And I asked her whether she was still in Korea. But she told me she was already in Indonesia, meanwhile Abil is currently in Korea. So, I dm-ed both of them. I asked Abil when will she come back to Indonesia, and she answered like, "Sampe lulus wkwkw // until I graduated". So I was like..  "oh??" and blablabla. And yeahhhh, we decided to meet on Sunday at Korea University. Yaaaay.

After checked-in in a hotel near Seoul Station, I separated with my cousin who was also going to meet her friend. And that's how I took the subway by myself, I was confused at first because yeah it was confusing at first. I don't know where to stop or etc etc, how if I get into the wrong train and etc etc. Actually, I was pretty nervous too, because I was wearing hijab and "how if people will stare at me omg so scary" I thought, but turns out nothing happened. lol. I was too self-conscious. A lot of people helped me instead.. and they were so kind. 

And theeennnn after 6 stops I arrived in Anam Station. It was a loooonggg wait. I got to meet her like 20 minutes after my arrival and it was very awkward because I look like a "missing people" lol I didn't know what to do. People were passing by and sometimes catch a glance, maybe thinking "what is this hijabi girl doing alone here is she planning to do a terrorist attack oh no omg" no jk. I was wearing soft pink hijab and pink sweater so no. Kbye.

Anyway, thank you so much Abilllll for coming and approached me at Korea University although it was Sunday and it was very sepi like a kuburan wkwkwk. well not really. She also took me around for a what-so-called "Korea University Tour" ahahhaha it was very tiring. The roads were very nanjak and melelahkan how the hell. And I also got to try the amazing bathroom. lol they even have a special room for make-up in the business building. wkwkkwkwkw.

Then we took another train to somewhere I forgot the name. It was a mall and we were just shopping for like 5 hours? Well not me, she did! kkkkkk. Oh anyway!! I remembered something, when I was paying for the book that I bought at the bookstore, the cashier was looking at me, smiling, and said "assalamu'alaikum" lol I was pretty shocked so I awkwardly smiled and left. I turned around didn't say anything. hahahaha. That was so random. Abil and I talked about a loooooottttt of things and the struggles about living in Korea. It was hard and got me thinking a lot. I want to tell all of you, but you might be surprised and.. nevermind ;) After that, we took a train back to Anam to eat noodles !!! 갈국수😍 We had deep and meaningful conversations all the way from Anam and back to Anam again. I didn't expect that we can be that close in no time. Take care Abil!❤ I know you can go through it:) I wish to meet you soon, next year in Korea University hahahaha. Just kidding.l

It's almost 9 pm when I took a train back alone to Seoul Station. I was pretty afraid because why not I was nowhere and alone. OH! AND I TOOK A WRONG TRAIN. LOL. I was freaking out by the fact that I got into a wrong train. I am so relieved that I realized it quickly and just went through 1 stop until I decided to get off and asked for a guide. I was fortunate that I just need to walk to the other side of the door and took another train. Whoa. I was sweating. My cousin was already waiting for me in Seoul Station and I was late because: First, we only finished eating at 8 or so. I suppose my cousin had been waiting for a half an hour. Second, IT WAS A LONG-WALK JOURNEY UNDERGROUND I KEPT PANTING AND GASPING(?). Third, I took the wrong train. Yeah that's my fault. ㅋㅋ Actually my cousin could go back to the hotel alone, but there were drunk ahjussi-s in the road on our way to the hotel so we were kinda afraid.

The next dayyyy, we packed our things and put our luggages in a locker that we can rent for hours, we just need to use cards and so on. And then we headed to Myeongdong by taxi because we were so tired. But before that, we visited Gyeongbukgung Palace first in Gwanghwamun. It was a hot day. Actually. But yeah it was nice. I just found out that Ayana Moon visited Gyeongbukgung too after I get out of the palace!!! Omg, I could have met her there ㅠㅠ anyway I didn't visit Itaewon yet:( Though I really want to visit Seoul Central Mosque and try Halal Restaurants there.. well maybe next time?:)

In Myeongdong, as expected, we were shopingg only.... I was exhausted. I was stupid too that I left my money in my luggage at the station!! So I only spend a few bucks left in my wallet. Hahahaa. Myeongdong is a temptation. SOOO MANY THINGS. SALE EVERYWHERE WHATEVS. 10+10 for 10,000 won bla bla bla. Sale 50%. Etc. We also tried halal baked cheese!! For 3,000 won. It was delicious. And chicken. Oh, we also ate a fish cake? I don't know. Fish bread? Something. It has a fish shaped and bean paste filling. Only 3,000 won. The seller could speak Indonesian, she approached us like "ayo beli tiga ribu yaa tiga ribu sangat enak" lmao I cracked a laugh deep inside. And i was like "어 인도네시아어 잘해요 ㅋㅋ"

My favorite store so far is ARTBOX! I looooveeee itttt because so cute hahaha. Ok nevermind. Then we went back to Seoul Station, we took a subway to Incheon. It was 12 stops if I am not mistaken? And it was also a longggg journey 너무 힘들었어서 다리 아퍼~~~ㅠㅠ the next morning, at 7am, we went to the airport to go back to Indonesia. It was a short trip indeed!!! There are so many places that I haven't visited yet.

Bye Seoul!!! See you next year ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ서울 안녕! 내년에 다시 올게용 뿅뿅 ㅋㅋ 죄송합니다

~END~

Read part 1 Unexpected in-flight meeting

Read part 2 Train to Busan

[PART 2] South Korea Trip: Train to Busan

LOOK AT THE STAIRS!!!

Read the first part

As soon as I arrived in Seoul, we went to Seoul Station to take a Train to Busan. For real!! lmao no there was no zombies but it was fun thrilling enough to imagine that I was in that movie because everything looks exactly as in the movie. Well, except, there were no zombies. For every one of you who is anti-drama or Korean things, you really have to watch this movie!!! This is truly exceptional.

👵Funny Ahjummas in Seoul Station

We arrived at 11 pm although our train was scheduled to depart from Seoul at 12:30 pm and arrive in Busan at 15:07 pm. We still have more than an hour and a half left before departure, therefore, me and Mbak Lifi decided to go up again to buy some foods or just walking around. There were two ahjummas who were already on the lift as we shouted, "저기요! 잠깐만~~~요. 감사합니다" and held the door for us. "한국말 잘해요! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ" it was pretty awkward, so I said "아니에요. 조금 만 할 수 있습니다 ㅎㅎ". As always. They were like :o :o :o (?) Well as you know, at first, I thought everyone will stare at me because I wear hijab, or worse, won't talk to me lmao I was too anxious. It was veryyyy rare, even during my 6 days trip, I think I am the only one who wears hijab. But turned out it wasn't that bad. So, we continued our small talks, 

"한국어를 얼마나 배웠어요?" how long have you learned korean?

"일년 동안 배우고 있어요..." i have learned korean for a year

"와 잘해! ㅋㅋ 어디로 갈 거예요??" wow you're good! kk where are you going?

"부산~ 네.." busan... yeah

"그런가요? 이제 시간 맞죠? 왜 올라와요??" ah really? isn't it now (to departure)? why do you go up?

"아니요, 우리 열차는 오후 12시 30 분에 있어요. 배고프니까 올라와요... ㅋㅋ" no, our train is at 12:30 pm. we are hungry so...

"지금 것 같은데?" i think it's now??

"아니에요.. 다음 열차" ah~ no... the next train

But they insisted that I take the first train and kind of argued a bit. They thought our train was about to depart soon and they hurried us to go down again lmao. Actually, there were two trains at 11 and 12.30 but they..idk there was just some miscommunication. I can't describe the moment perfectly, but it was all laughter. They were so funny. They even threw up some jokes (that i don't understand) so I was laughing in awkwardness. But it was nice because they were very kind and even guide us (a bit. though confusing). And we hunt foodzzzz. My first order in Korean was a spicy squid rice something from 공씨네 주먹밥 (kong's riceball) and 바나나우유! Well, the banana milk tastes similar with Indomilk banana if you're curious.

💘Korean BBQ in 오륙도 Oryukdo and Gwangan Bridge 광안대교

다 먹었어!!

Our hotel located near the Busan Station, we just need to walk for 3 minutes. The staffs couldn't speak English even though it's near the station (I expect they must have seen a lot of tourists), but it was very bad :< We booked two rooms, the other one has been checked-in online while the other one hasn't so we have to wait until then. We took a shower and prepare ourselves to be picked up by our Korean friends. Busan is very famous for its beaches, so, they brought us to a really fancy restaurant near the beach called 오륙도 가원. I was having a deja vu on my way to the restaurant, the roads seemed similar and I felt like I've been there before. I didn't take good pictures (source: google) but the view was mesmerizing mashaallah and there is nothing to compare with the pictures! The weather was okay, it was windy but not so hot nor cold. It was perfect. The waitress who serves our table was fun. He told us that we were the first Indonesian guest, and as expected, was pretty curious too because we wear hijab. They even talked about eid and said he watched it on the tv that it's an Islamic day so on and so on. We were having fun and talked about a lot of things that night.

information board at the hotel! cuteeee

After that, they brought us to Gwangan Bridge 광안대교 which was amazing at night. I don't know but Busan was very calm and there were not so many people. It was very clean and just perfect. Well, if only they have more mosques and halal restaurants... I would love to live there for the rest of my life. I like Busan better than Seoul to be honest, Seoul is very busy and people walked very fast like they have no time to relax. But, Busan is calmer and I just love it. 

🍢🍣Went to Gamcheon Village and tried street-food!

The next day, we had a breakfast in the hotel. I asked the ahjumma to make sure that it doesn't contain pork, "이거 뭐예요?" "죽! 괜찮아. 고기 없어요!" "아~ 그래요.. 고맙습니다.". Ohhh~ thanks God. I really liked the dried lavers, the porridge, everything T_T It tastes different with the Korean foods I used to have in Indonesia. huhu I really love it. They were very welcoming, I was touched (?) :(

After finishing our breakfast, our Korean friends picked us up again and brought us to Gamcheon Cultural Village 감천문화마을. It was also their first time in Busan because they actually lived in Seoul and Jeju. Gamcheon is my favorite place!!! Very cute :< I can't. I bought my first hotteok 호떡 in Gamcheon and this issss my favorite street food snack in Korea :(((( I also tried a cheese rice cake (melteddddd) and sikhye (non-alcoholic korean rice beverages. mirip tape tapi enggak asem, enak. aku gak suka tape wkwkw.) Pokoknya kalau kalian ke Busan wajib banget ke Gamcheon!! Lucu banget. Terus ada kayak tempat diy dan art stores gituuu, and evennn flower tea shops!! 

gamcheon !!

HOTTEOOKK!!!! ISINYA KACANG :3

🐾Shopping streets like Myeongdong in Busan and Coffee in Songdo Beach

And theeeen we went shopping!!! I love Korean skincare products and tbh it's so hard to restrain because everything seems to have SALES in big red fonts (though they always had). Masks. You can get 20 masks for 10.000 won and etc etc. I was being called a few times by strangers, saying "안녕하세요~ 아이고 예쁘다." kkk lmao don't do that to me, my head might grow bigger. I also met a veryyy cute and kind sales in Innisfree. She approached me and we kinda have talks about skincare products, she also recommended me a bija cica balm since I told her that I have a very sensitive and dry skin. It gets red easily:( She was very funny we were laughing because lmao language barrierssssss zzz. 

Oh! We also had a nagji 낙지 (octopus) not the living octopus 산낙지 (I should try it next time!). It was very very very very very veryyy delicious:( Our Korean friends kept saying "와... 한국 음식 진짜 잘 먹네~" "김치도 잘 먹었어" "와.. 그렇게 좋아하지" I was like 당연하지!!!! 맛있으니까 죽겠다 ㅋㅋㅋ The octopus wassss omgggg. Idk. I wasn't exaggerating but it tastes different. Even the kimchi and dried laver tastes different. lol.

Then we continued our journey, I don't remember the place but it was a cafe near Songdo Beach and we just talked until 10 pm. We had cakes, desserts, coffee, and ice creams. We had a really great time! The night view in Busan was beautiful and exotic. It was an unforgettable and memorable experience for three days there. It was our last night in Busan as we are going to Seoul the next day, we bid goodbyes to each other. 

Busan was amazing and beautiful, and I will sure come back again to visit Busan someday.

Continue to Part 3...

[PART 1] South Korea Trip: unexpected in-flight meeting !!!

"...So we were having a conversation in Korean until he started saying things that I don't understand due to my lack of vocabularies. And that's how he started to speak English. Up to my surprise, he speaks VERY GOOD ENGLISH. Perfect. Like, the first Korean I know who speaks really good English. "

Woowww it's October already. Wow. I didn't sound that excited, eh? Okay nevermind. Oh and yesss I just came back from a short trip to South Korea! Yeah. Yeahhhh. Hahaha. I am so random I am sorry. So um yeaaaaaaah I was in South Korea for 6 days from 21-27 September 2017 and during that time I've encountered a lot of things worth to learn and remember which I am going to tell u right now(?), it doesn't sound right but ok whatever. (wow writing is so hard idk what to write this is so messy i need to practice). So I went there with my cousin, Lifi, and my bude; it was just the three of us. Memories that I had in South Korea was rather unforgettable though I kinda......, um, nevermind, that's another story. But despite "that", even my flight to Korea was pretty... unexpected?

It was a night flight at 11 pm sharp as I am about to board when the staff told me that my seat's tv was broken. Therefore, they asked me to pick another seat. I should have seated in 21D but because of it, I switched my seat to 22H just because yeah why not I don't care where I'll be seating though as long as I will arrive in Seoul safely. I didn't have anything in my mind but to sleep, the person who happened to sit next to me was a Korean man around 20-30 years old and busy (because he kept arranging paper something and his laptop). As soon as I lifted my baggage to the cabin, I jumped to my seat and started to close my eyes. The night view was beautiful but my dream seemed much more promising.

The lights were off during take-off and taxi, but the Korean man beside me turned the individual light and kept reading something up until 1 am. I didn't care that much because I was drowsy and 7 hours flight was tiring enough to give me back pain and a pain in the a$$:(( My whole body was aching.  It was so bad. I woke up and slept and woke up again every an hour because it was cold and I really want to pee :< but I can't because the guy next to me was sleeping. But that's okay I managed to endure it. I forced myself to sleep again because everyone was sleeping too. And it was pretty creepy and hollow so I decided to sleep even though it was really hard and uncomfortable.

My watch's needle pointed at 6 am and the sun started to creep above the lines (the earth is not flat, baby), people woke up and the stewardesses started to distribute the breakfast; I chose omelette from the three dishes provided because I just didn't hear what the other two were, so did the guy beside me. It was very awkward, we sat there for like 5 hours already and there was no conversation or even a glance, as expected. But I really really wanted to go to the bathroom so I blatantly asked him in Korean "죄송하지만.. 화장실 어디 있어요?" I was only asking where the toilet was using Korean language because I knew he was Korean so why not maybe he can't speak English kkk. He didn't say anything but I think he was pretty surprised so he only pointed out at the direction. So I was like "oh okay."

I came back to my seat and didn't say anything because he was exercising? hahaha I am not sure but I just wanted to finish my breakfast that time because I was (and always) hungry. Then he got back to his seat again and started to open up a conversation. I didn't remember what he said exactly but I think he was saying, "한국말 잘하시네요? (do you speak Korean well?)" or whether he was asking how long have I been learning Korean. I don't remember.

I was pretty surprised so I said "아~ 한국어를 조금 할수있어...습니다. (ah~ I can speak Korean a little." the thing is I was having a crisis which formal sentences I should use since I still confused about this term. I still have a problem on when to use 존댓말(formal) / 반말 (informal) that I found myself dropping the 요 or switch to ~습니다/니까, I was afraid if I might have been rude for not using it, but I hope they understand because after all, I am a foreigner. lol. i am bule.

So we were having a conversation in Korean until he started saying things that I don't understand due to my lack of vocabularies. And that's how he started to speak English. Up to my surprise, he speaks VERY GOOD ENGLISH. Perfect. Like, the first Korean I know who speaks really good English. Wow, and I was like "다행이다!!!ㅋㅋㅋ (it's like, syukurlahhh~~)". After that, we had a longgggg and deep conversation in English and Korean. It was a veryyy veryy nice talk for almost more than an hour non-stop; very intense and exciting conversation that I saw another Korean passenger beside us was glancing and seemed to be bothered (or curious?) because we were having such interesting conversation bilingually. He talked about a lot of things that he currently doing in Indonesia and I can relate so much because I have a background in research so, at least, I didn't shame myself during the conversation. (Thanks Namche) He was amazing and inspirational that even just an hour of conversation with him I learned a lot of things. So much respect. It was then until he said, "let me give you my business card." to my surprise as he stood up reaching his bag and handed me his business card. That is the time when I discovered that the guy who happened to sit next to me, in fact, is a senior researcher at Seoul National University (SNU). Wow. I am grateful that my previous seat was broken, otherwise, I wouldn't have had such opportunity to meet an amazing person during my flight to Seoul.

We continued our conversation about his researches in Indonesia about environmental and waste management. He literally told me everything from the purpose, method, how to solve it, and even the funding and relationship between Indonesia and Korea. It was amazing. I felt like I was listening to a professional business presentation than just a usual talk. It was very interesting and I, as well, curious on what he and his team did in Indonesia. I was amazed that Korean researchers care enough to fix such problems in my country and willing to put efforts in it. However, at the same time, I was worried and apprehensive to my own mind because I kinda have the thought like "we should have done this to our country, our researcher, our own people.". But yeah, it is not an easy task to bring people even though I know people and researchers around me who are willing and capable of doing this. Furthermore, it is still a long way to go for our country to reach that phase...

The conversation was getting much lighter as we started talking about travel and my plans in Korea. He even offered me to visit his office if I have time. But somehow I still am not sure about myself because my Korean language skill is still very basic. After this conversation, I committed to learn deeper in order to level up and bring my skill to the next level so I can keep up in professional and business-level conversations. The conversations that I had with him brought my spirit back in learning Korean and so does wider my networks & connections wherever I am. Time ran faster until I realized that our flight has ended and we finally arrived in Seoul, I bid him a goodbye and gratitude for giving me such inspiration through his stories and experiences. We exchanged waves as I departed from the plane. It was amazing. At least, my impression on my first arrival in Seoul was good enough to be remembered. I wish to meet him again in the future when my Korean skill has gotten so much better. I will work for it!!

Continue to part 2... Train to Busan

Childhood Romance

He told me I was Venus.

I don't understand what he meant, he said he just like that name. So, I said yeah and called him 'astronaut', with terms and condition. In my definition, it is supposed to be a person who would never step his feet on Venus unless he determines to burn in flames. He never did understand the literal meaning.

8.00 a.m is when he told me he likes my laugh; the way my big front baby teeth appeared as I open my jaw, exhales the air out. I know that was gross and he was weird to adore that. I asked him why and he said "It's cute. Your dimples." I frowned and told him that I only have one. He giggled sheepishly, "One in your left cheek, the other one is only visible to me." I rolled my eyes in disgust.

At February 14th, he brought me white roses, bear, and chocolates. My friends were cheering and my teachers were asked me to accept it. But, I cried and threw him rocks, ended up spending my whole day in the principal's room (I wish I had the pic). I never liked surprises ever since. It wasn't because I hate him or anything, but it was absolutely ridiculous. We were only 7. What did he expect!?

The roses were nowhere to be found. The chocolates were shared to the whole class instead (they were very happy tho!). And I kept the teddy bear, as I have promised his mom to at least keep that. (note: I gave the plushie away for charity for Mt. Merapi Explosion in 2005, thanks, it was finally useful)

In grade 4, an incident happened. He was transferred to another school and I never knew where he is until now. He never bids me a goodbye or anything, not even a chance for me to clarify things. I was mute the whole day, knowing that he was going to leave me miles away is pretty exhilarating and somewhat intoxicating.

I realized things only after his leaving. He was always there in the canteen, struggling to use his chopsticks. His face would turn red as he gave up and use his hands to eat. He would be there in the library at my lonely times, bringing my favorite orange juice in a carton box. He would sit beside me, asking me to read his favorite Winnie-The-Pooh Bedtime Stories because he still doesn't know how to read. I urged him to learn how to read but he ignored, saying "It sounds better if you are the one who reads it for me." I rolled my eyes again, but he was too nice for bringing me orange juice, so I nodded instead.

It has been 10 years and I wish I could tell him what has always been on my mind. I was only his Pluto. In the end, I was abandoned and is no longer considered to be in his solar system. He thought I never liked him the way he does. Little did he know, 

he was wrong too.

For I also love him dearly, 

as a friend.

DISCLAIMER: It's NOT referring to someone or ANYONE. :)

#WKWKKWKWKWKW #fictionfictionfiction #someeventsarereal #mychildhoodisajoke #donttakeitseriouslyplzz #creativewritingpurposeonly

공감

"싫은 일은 하지 마라
미운 사람은 만나지 마라
가기 싫은 자리는 가지 마라
먹지 싫은 건 먹지 마라

살아보니 인생은 짧더라
경우에 어긋나지 않는다면
너 자신에게 먼저 집중하고 살아라"

-@o_ek_1101

진짜. 완전. 정말. 취고!! ㅠㅠ

First IELTS Test Experience

Yeah, I kinda screwed up the exam.

I got the result yesterday and wasn't really satisfied with my overall band score that I got. So faaaar away from my target. But alhamdulillah, thanks for the native ma'am who kindly gave me a pretty decent band. Lots of love for you ma'am. If not, I might have got even worse. But the most important thing, it still passed the minimum requirement though. :( 

First, I would like to say that the parts in IELTS which I feared the most are the reading and speaking section. Okay. You know, the reading part in IELTS is hella... hell scarryyy. They have different kinds of question apart from what you will find in TOEFL. There would only be a few multiple choice questions and the rest are random types of question which you had to find by yourself in your head. Whatever. You wouldn't find the answer anywhere. Uh well yea though some types of questions have, but it still hell-o-my-god-so-difficult-i-dont-want-to-do-it-again. Every single time I did the trial or mock test, when it comes to Reading section I always thought, "Yea, you're my enemy now Reading section.". It makes my head super dizzy for not knowing what should I write there. I was never confident in reading section. Never.

Meanwhile, I took the speaking test on a different day with the LWR test which was held on Saturday. The funny thing is I thought I would get like 4,5 or 3 in my speaking test that I panicked and couldn't even forgive myself. Let alone the high-level words I've memorised to say all week or the phrases and structures that could help me get 7 or 8, I even stumbled upon the words and sounded like a squeaky rat :((( My... I just don't know how to explain how bad my performance was. I might have screwed what I've prepared but it turns out my speaking band is one of the highest which slightly boost my overall band score. I don't know how?? Alhamdulillah. Same goes with the reading section: those which I feared the most, scored the most. Uhh-mazing.

The listening and writing section, meanwhile, the ones that I prepared more than those two little rats got lower band scores. I thought I was doing okay in listening, yeah I could hear everything almost perfectly, but I have to admit that some questions on the back pages are pretty tricky. It was difficult. The section that actually could get the highest band, I got the lowest:(

The writing section!!! I was confident with my writing, moreover, the topic is about astronomy and space which I am sure I have a lot of fancy vocabularies to use. It was about space travel and research something (which is my thing!), errr idk what I can recall is we have to elaborate our opinions about future space travel in International Space Station something and the impact of future developments in technology. 

I was very very confident. I spent most of the time correcting my writing style and learned how to produce a good academic essay. Academic essays are different and super hella absolutely complicated. I don't understand. I have always been so motivated when it comes to writing. But yeah, the band score wasn't that good either. Perhaps I was just being cocky. Since then, I realised I have a lot of flaws here and there to improve. Ijebutteo yeolsimhi hakesseubnidaaaa!!!1! Hahaha sorry. This one will always be my favourite, even though I got higher band than I used to get in mock tests, it still...so-so. I'll try harder next time:)

I admitted that I didn't prepare for the test well enough, I studied like crazy for only like 1-2 weeks even though I actually had like 3 months before the exam. Procrastination. Always. I just thought I have prepared just enough but I think it's just in my head. The thing that I learned is... to stop procrastinate and value your time, it worth more than anything else. Anndddd, don't. underestimate. any. section. Love them equally. (Aw!) Like in my case, I got higher band scores in the section that I feared the most, meanwhile, the sections that I prepared so much than the others (that I am confident at) got lower band scores instead. Good luck and good work!! 

May the odds be ever in your favour. 

[CLOSED] W.DRESSROOM Perfume Giveaway - Amortentia x Sajuseyo.id {Worldwide}

Hellooooooo!!

I am coming back with a good news today. It has been so long since my last giveaway (duh that was 3 years ago!!). Today I'd like to announce you that me and Sajuseyo.id would like to give you FREE W.Dressroom Perfume (Free Shipping) with the scent you can choose. Woohooo amazing. Right right?? This giveaway (worldwide) starts from today until July 20th, 2017 at 12.00 AM GMT+7 so make sure you're in!

Halo semuanya!!

Aku kembali lagi dengan berita baik hari ini. Hmm rasanya udah lama sejak giveaway terakhir aku (duh itu udah 3 taun yang lalu sih -_-). Nah hari ini aku mau ngumumin bahwasanyaaaa aku dan Sajuseyo.id bakal ngasih kamu Parfum W.Dressroom Gratis tis tisss udah termasuk ongkir alias shipping! Selain itu, kamu juga bisa milih variant apa saja yang kamu mau. Keren nga sih keren banget gewlak kan :(( kok awkward y. bodo amat dah ya.. Giveaway ini mulai dari hari ini sampaiii 20 Juli 2017 jam 12.00 WIB GMT+7 jadi jangan sampe ketinggalan ya! (maafin bahasaku yang agak maksa:(((( )

What is W.Dressroom anyway?

It's a perfume. Yea. Of course. If you are a BTS Army, Seventeen's Carat, or basically a perfume lover; you must have heard about this somewhere. It's that famous Jungkook BTS' perfume (as a Christmas gift from Taehyung) April Cotton no.97!! Who doesn't want? Well, even if you don't fancy the color or the scent you can choose anyyyyything you'd love to have. They are varied both in colors and scent for any gender!! Aw, I am so excited.

W.Dressroom apaan sih?

Parfum. Iya. Yaiyalah. Kalau kamu Army BTS, Carat Seventeen, atau penyuka parfum dan gratisan (seperti aku. aku suka gratisan wkwkw) pasti udah pernah denger dong ya?? yayayaa?? Itu lho parfumnya Jungkook BTS yang dikasih sama Taehyung buat hadiah natal alias April Cotton no 97!! #huhuakungomongapasih #maafinakuya #iya :(( huhu kok jd sedih akunya. Di giveaway kali ini kamu bisa mewujudkan impianmu samaan wangi sama Jungkook lhoh (?) :( Warna warni uw terus aromanya macem-macem deh... sesuai dengan kemaskulinan atau kefeminiman atau ke-diantarakeduanya-mu(?) 

SCENTS YOU CAN CHOOSE :

1. No. 02 Coco Conut

2. No. 12 Very Berry 

3. No. 14 Lemon Lime

4. No. 18 Gentleman Code 

5. No. 34 Always Happy 

6. No. 41 Jas Mint 

7. No. 45 Morning Rain 

8. No. 46 Pure Lilly 

9. No. 47 Fig Leaf 

10. No. 49 Peach Blossom (S.Coups Seventeen) 

11. No. 50 Green Apple 

12. No. 51 Juicy Grapefruit 

13. No. 64 Lovely Rose

14. No. 90 Pomegranate 

15. No. 97 April Cotton (Jungkook BTS)

HOW TO JOIN? // CARANYA GIMANA??
Just fill your entries in the Rafflecopter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Lucky Winner : Virra Priscilla

MANDATORY ENTRIES:

1. Follow Instagram @Sajuseyo.id 

2. Leave a comment / Tinggalkan komen di Instagram dan beritahu kami varian mana yang kamu mau (Tell us which variant you'd love to win! W.Dressroom Perfume List )

ADDITIONAL ENTRIES (Optional)

1. Follow my blog via GFC / Follow blog saya di GFC
2. Tag your friends at @Sajuseyo.id 's Instagram / Tag teman kamu sebanyak-banyaknya
3. Repost and spread the news (Giveaway post) / Repost dan sebarkan beritanya!
4. Leave your hearts (Like @Sajuseyo.id pictures) / Like foto-foto di Instagram Sajuseyo
5. Add Sajuseyo.id Official Line Account @lde7235j or bit.ly/LINEsajuseyo /Add Official Account di Line
6. Write a review about this giveaway/Sajuseyo.id everywhere (don't forget to submit your link) / Tulis review mengenai giveaway ini di line/blog/instagram/dll

Note:

1. This giveaway is open worldwide
2. The giveaway starts from today and ends on July 20th, 2017 at 12.00 AM GMT +7 // Giveaway dimulai hari ini dan berakhir pada 20 Juli 2017 jam 12.00 GMT 
3. Photos are taken from W.dressroom websites // Foto diambil dari website w.dressroom 
4. Don't forget to put comments as validate. // Jangan lupa untuk meninggalkan komen.
5. Prize will be shipped from Indonesia. // Hadiah akan dikirim dari Indonesia
6. Only the entries in Rafflecopter form will be counted. // Hanya entri melalui Rafflecopter yang dihitung
7. Maafin ke-bilingual-anku yang tak termaafkan :(

International Giveaways

TOPIK 52휘 RESULT!!

안녕하세요 여러분들♡ 잘 지냈죠? 여기 왔어서 감사합니다!!

HEHEHEHEHE. So I did TOPIK Exam 52휘 on April 26th 2017 and the result is out today!! Yayyy~~~ For your information, TOPIK 토핔 stands for Test of Proficiency in Korean/한국어능력시험, it's like TOEFL/IELTS/DELF/DAF/etc but this one is to test your Korean language skill. Well, I started learning Korean in October '16 after I decided not to take JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) and self-taught myself Korean after going through bunch of considerations. But for sure, I am glad that I did!

I would say that  I am pretty disappointed that I wasted my time and felt like I haven't studied enough for the test. Korean is though, man. I should've put more efforts. Well, sometimes I studied Korean during classes or while the others are studying for UN/SBMPTN I studied Korean instead, hehe I know I am bad. HAHAHA. And the fact that I decided to take Social studies for SBMPTN while I came from Science major feels like hell just now lol. I just don't know whether it's a right decision or am I throwing myself to hell. Naudzubillah. Lol what am I even doing for myself. I am sorry myself:'( Nevertheless, I didn't regret my decision.

Well... the test itself is 3 days after National Exam (UN). My health was dropped the day after that I only had 2 days left to prepare for the exam. GEEZZZ. I know, it's crazy but I have priorities that couldn't be neglected.  I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISH THE BOOK THAT I BOUGHT. MAN. Whatevs. So I locked myself in my room and studied like crazy in 2 days. Eh, don't get me wrong, I have studied the grammars and vocabs before and I only did previous test exams in those days. Tips for those who are studying languages: even if you feel like you can't study in some period of time, make sure to surround yourself with the language. As for me, I still managed to read 네이버 웹툰 (Naver Webtoon), random Korean apps, speak with natives, and watch Kdrama/shows/vlogs during my free time. Lol, it's funny that I said I didn't have time but I still managed to watch Korean dramas. 죄송합니다 ㅋㅋㅋ 나 나쁜사람이야 ^^;;;

There are two types of exam that you can choose, TOPIK I Beginner  (Level 1-2) and TOPIK II Intermediate to Advanced (Level 3-6). There is no speaking in both test, the differences are in writing and of course the difficulty level. Oh and also the prices, in Indonesia, the TOPIK I is Rp 150.000,00 and TOPIK II is Rp 250.000,00.

I enrolled for TOPIK I since I still am a beginner and it's my first time to sit for the exam. I would like to know how the exam is like and to test how far I've gone in Korean. The thing is, I don't even get it why the beginner level's passages felt like crap @%#-$(*°¢&€√|{£!!!-____- I ran out of time!! I had ten questions left (with long passages each:)))) ) in the last ten minutes. So what I did was buletin indah yang penting gercep asal jawab bodo amat dah(?), lol I meant randomly chose the answers since I don't even understand what that is. I was pretty slow or enjoying the passages too much, I am not sure which one ㅋㅋㅋ

And here's the result...!

I AM VERY GRATEFUL. Not that bad thooo. At least I tried :D

If you are going to try the exam, you can check their websites >> topik.go.kr

The exam is on April but the registration starts 3 months before, in January, and is only last for A WEEK it means you have to gercep alias fast and furious alias 빨리빨리. In Indonesia, it usually held twice in April and October. So, if you are going to apply for the exam soon make sure to check the dates!!

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. 질문 있으면 언제든지 물어보세요^^

Best of luck, 화이팅!

The Beauty in Diversity

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We started from a multicultural group chat containing French, Iranian, Koreans, Turkish, Chinese, and me, Indonesian, who speak absolutely random and nonsense (but fun!). He is younger than me, quite the same age as my brother  but I would say that he has a knowledge of more than teenagers here. So we replied to our snapgrams, and started to talk about languages. At first I was pretty shocked, because he explained to me very briefly about his native language. About how Persian is different with Arabic or the similarity of their old characters with Chinese characters. A lot of new things that I discovered (or am I just dumb I don't know) about Middle East countries etc, especially his. This is due to the fact that I very unlikely to get such information in my country. Too much... hoax. I don't know which is which anymore.

Well, let me say.. I realized how much the difference of how people from all over the world perceive the world. Complicated. Don't know how to explain, man, why English why!! But one thing that I know for sure is that we acknowledge quite similar thing, but turns out... I didn't understand pretty well. There is some abcd that I couldn't get, I mean...the things that might be usual to talk about there, is pretty unusual to talk about here. We know what we're talking about, we're on the same direction, but there is something like missing puzzles...because we live in a different countries, brought by different perspectives. But still beautiful. I don't know if it's just me, but I rarely have such conversation with locals. Things like the Middle Eastern wars, Sunni Shia, or Islam itself.

I don't know how it happened, but we ended up talking about deeper Islam. What do you mean? I don't know, just don't ask, I am confused too-_- To be honest, it was pretty awkward when we discovered ourselves being Sunni and Shia. I acknowledge that the rumours and news that spreaded in my country is quite...yea. DON'T GET ME WRONG. At first I was afraid that I might say something that would trigger "misunderstanding" between us, for I myself don't quite understand.  In my country, we rarely assume ourselves as some certain group. Though we know that some countries are majority of bla bla-muslim. We just refer ourselves as Muslim. And I absolutely have no problem about that as long as we could be tolerant to each other and prevent unintentionally conflicts.

I was afraid, I don't want to break a friendship just because a small misunderstanding. He calmed me by saying, "We all are muslim *cute emojis* take this one it's better. I told you this bcz it can make enmity" and other things that unsuitable to be posted along (because it might hurt others).

What I want you to realize is not the conversation that we had or else. But this conversation got me reflected upon the things that happened in my beloved country recently, the country of Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, Indonesia. I love differences and learn from various perspectives, it taught me to be tolerant and understand other people better. I like it the most, when I listen to people's stories about how they perceive the world or simply about how they live their life. It's not that I want to justify or forcing certain perspective or believes; I just love the beauty of tolerance in diversity. 

The heaven and the hell? It's our personal matters and the Lord's absolute right. We have no right to decide or accuse ones who deserve to enter the heaven or hell.  If we can't change the world all at once or attain world peace, at least, let's be good to each other in society as a human being.

Why do we have to war? If we can live together in peace...

May peace be upon you. Assalamu'alaikum~

Friday Reminder: Finding Inner Peace

Assalamu'alaikum!! (May peace be upon you) اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُم

Ramadhan is coming very near already. Oh, didn't you see that coming? So these days, recently, I felt like my iman (faith) has been decreasing gradually, astaghfirullah, and I kinda missing the peace during my prayers. Have you ever felt like... you just don't feel it? I felt bothered and blamed myself a lot about it that I tried various ways but the 'peace' never comes back. Perhaps it's because the sins I realized or not realized I've commited in the past. Or it might be because my mind had been occupied with everything wordly that I forget the akhirah. But today I would like to share a few things that probably could help you finding the "peace" back, or at least, reminding you(and me too) of Islam, Qur'an, anything.

I would like to recommend you an app, it's Nouman Ali Khan podcasts  which you can download it from App Store. It contains of da'wah lectures of Mr Nouman Ali Khan that you can actually access it from Bayinnah Tv or FreeQuranEducation in Youtube. It's very good especially if you would like to save your internet data (because if you don't, it's hours lectures in Youtube man). You don't have to start with an hour lectures, just begin with short 5-10 minutes lectures, but do it constantly in the morning or in the evening so you'll get used to it. Just as you like. As for me, I am trying to listen at least one lecture everyday to keep myself reminded. Mashaallah may He makes us among the people He loves.

Learn Tajwid. Download any apps or buy any books that could help you understand Al Qur'an better. Be an educated muslim! Educate and surround yourself.. start reading Sirah Nabawiyah and take reflections upon it.

Memorize at least one surah; read the tafsir, understand the tajwid, listen to lectures about it, and act upon it. Just one surah, but focus, and make sure to dig deep down inshaAllah it would give a good impact in your life. Focus on one thing and reflect, open more doors. The more you recite, the more you understand.

Help people. Good causes are good causes, people wouldn't judge your religion or where'd you come from. If possible, be a part of good cause in non-muslim event (volunteers, etc), not only among Islam communities. Be a better human being, better muslim. Be an example of what true Islam is. Let's put aside all those bad news about muslims these days, rather than debating the whole day (and keeps debating anyway) let's just put our focus on ourselves instead. We can't change people to what we want them to be except Allah is willing to give His blessings and hidayah. All we have to do is to pray, guide, and remind them. I am not saying that we have to give up, but we have to understand whether it's our personal lives or in society. Inshaallah there is a way.

Fix our intention only for Allah. This one is very hard, I admit. When you're going to give, expect only for Allah. If we are doing good for others, don't say that you help them, we're actually helping ourselves. There is nothing to big for Allah to give. It's easy for us, because Allah made it easy for us. Be faithful and keep reminding each other for we are imperfect human beings.

Guys, Allah doesn't need us. He is independent and qiyamuhu binafsihi, he doesn't need our struggles or anything. It's us who need Him.

It's a reminder for me too,  Ramadhan is near and I wish we could prepare ourselves before its coming. May Allah Azza wa'Jalla makes us of those who are committed to our faith throughout our lives. May Allah overlook our shortcomings and not make us among the dhaalim. And may He protects us forever. Aamiin..


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List of lectures I recommend in Nouman Ali Khan podcast:
1. Have Genuine Love to the Book of Allah
2. How We Lose Our Iman
3. You're the Best For People
4. Purify your Faith
5. Amazed by The Qur'an series
Well, I have to say, everything!!!