Saturday, July 29, 2017

Childhood Romance

He told me I was Venus.
I don't understand what he meant, he said he just like that name. So, I said yeah and called him 'astronaut', with terms and condition. In my definition, it is supposed to be a person who would never step his feet on Venus unless he determines to burn in flames. He never did understand the literal meaning.

8.00 a.m is when he told me he likes my laugh; the way my big front baby teeth appeared as I open my jaw, exhales the air out. I know that was gross and he was weird to adore that. I asked him why and he said "It's cute. Your dimples." I frowned and told him that I only have one. He giggled sheepishly, "One in your left cheek, the other one is only visible to me." I rolled my eyes in disgust.

At February 14th, he brought me white roses, bear, and chocolates. My friends were cheering and my teachers were asked me to accept it. But, I cried and threw him rocks, ended up spending my whole day in the principal's room (I wish I had the pic). I never liked surprises ever since. It wasn't because I hate him or anything, but it was absolutely ridiculous. We were only 7. What did he expect!?

The roses were nowhere to be found. The chocolates were shared to the whole class instead (they were very happy tho!). And I kept the teddy bear, as I have promised his mom to at least keep that. (note: I gave the plushie away for charity for Mt. Merapi Explosion in 2005, thanks, it was finally useful)

In grade 4, an incident happened. He was transferred to another school and I never knew where he is until now. He never bids me a goodbye or anything, not even a chance for me to clarify things. I was mute the whole day, knowing that he was going to leave me miles away is pretty exhilarating and somewhat intoxicating.

I realized things only after his leaving. He was always there in the canteen, struggling to use his chopsticks. His face would turn red as he gave up and use his hands to eat. He would be there in the library at my lonely times, bringing my favorite orange juice in a carton box. He would sit beside me, asking me to read his favorite Winnie-The-Pooh Bedtime Stories because he still doesn't know how to read. I urged him to learn how to read but he ignored, saying "It sounds better if you are the one who reads it for me." I rolled my eyes again, but he was too nice for bringing me orange juice, so I nodded instead.

It has been 10 years and I wish I could tell him what has always been on my mind. I was only his Pluto. In the end, I was abandoned and is no longer considered to be in his solar system. He thought I never liked him the way he does. Little did he know, 

he was wrong too.


For I also love him dearly, 
as a friend.



DISCLAIMER: It's NOT referring to someone or ANYONE. :)

#WKWKKWKWKWKW #fictionfictionfiction #someeventsarereal #mychildhoodisajoke #donttakeitseriouslyplzz #creativewritingpurposeonly

Sunday, July 23, 2017

공감

"싫은 일은 하지 마라
미운 사람은 만나지 마라
가기 싫은 자리는 가지 마라
먹지 싫은 건 먹지 마라

살아보니 인생은 짧더라
경우에 어긋나지 않는다면
너 자신에게 먼저 집중하고 살아라"

-@o_ek_1101

진짜. 완전. 정말. 취고!! ㅠㅠ

Wednesday, July 05, 2017

First IELTS Test Experience

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Yeah, I kinda screwed up the exam.

I got the result yesterday and wasn't really satisfied with my overall band score that I got. So faaaar away from my target. But alhamdulillah, thanks for the native ma'am who kindly gave me a pretty decent band. Lots of love for you ma'am. If not, I might have got even worse. But the most important thing, it still passed the minimum requirement though. :( 

First, I would like to say that the parts in IELTS which I feared the most are the reading and speaking section. Okay. You know, the reading part in IELTS is hella... hell scarryyy. They have different kinds of question apart from what you will find in TOEFL. There would only be a few multiple choice questions and the rest are random types of question which you had to find by yourself in your head. Whatever. You wouldn't find the answer anywhere. Uh well yea though some types of questions have, but it still hell-o-my-god-so-difficult-i-dont-want-to-do-it-again. Every single time I did the trial or mock test, when it comes to Reading section I always thought, "Yea, you're my enemy now Reading section.". It makes my head super dizzy for not knowing what should I write there. I was never confident in reading section. Never.
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Meanwhile, I took the speaking test on a different day with the LWR test which was held on Saturday. The funny thing is I thought I would get like 4,5 or 3 in my speaking test that I panicked and couldn't even forgive myself. Let alone the high-level words I've memorised to say all week or the phrases and structures that could help me get 7 or 8, I even stumbled upon the words and sounded like a squeaky rat :((( My... I just don't know how to explain how bad my performance was. I might have screwed what I've prepared but it turns out my speaking band is one of the highest which slightly boost my overall band score. I don't know how?? Alhamdulillah. Same goes with the reading section: those which I feared the most, scored the most. Uhh-mazing.

The listening and writing section, meanwhile, the ones that I prepared more than those two little rats got lower band scores. I thought I was doing okay in listening, yeah I could hear everything almost perfectly, but I have to admit that some questions on the back pages are pretty tricky. It was difficult. The section that actually could get the highest band, I got the lowest:(

The writing section!!! I was confident with my writing, moreover, the topic is about astronomy and space which I am sure I have a lot of fancy vocabularies to use. It was about space travel and research something (which is my thing!), errr idk what I can recall is we have to elaborate our opinions about future space travel in International Space Station something and the impact of future developments in technology. 

I was very very confident. I spent most of the time correcting my writing style and learned how to produce a good academic essay. Academic essays are different and super hella absolutely complicated. I don't understand. I have always been so motivated when it comes to writing. But yeah, the band score wasn't that good either. Perhaps I was just being cocky. Since then, I realised I have a lot of flaws here and there to improve. Ijebutteo yeolsimhi hakesseubnidaaaa!!!1! Hahaha sorry. This one will always be my favourite, even though I got higher band than I used to get in mock tests, it still...so-so. I'll try harder next time:)

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I admitted that I didn't prepare for the test well enough, I studied like crazy for only like 1-2 weeks even though I actually had like 3 months before the exam. Procrastination. Always. I just thought I have prepared just enough but I think it's just in my head. The thing that I learned is... to stop procrastinate and value your time, it worth more than anything else. Anndddd, don't. underestimate. any. section. Love them equally. (Aw!) Like in my case, I got higher band scores in the section that I feared the most, meanwhile, the sections that I prepared so much than the others (that I am confident at) got lower band scores instead. Good luck and good work!! 
May the odds be ever in your favour. 

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